Funny Retirement Quotes
If you are looking for funny retirement quotes for your friends or colleagues, you can use following quotes for retirement speeches, retirement parties and retirement greetings. In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon. - Author Unknown Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. - Author Unknown When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. - Gene Perret A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. - Ella Harris What do gardeners do when they retire? - Bob Monkhouse Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. - Mason Cooley Retirement life: seen it all, done it all - Can't remember most of it! - Author Unknown I always arrive late at the office... But I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there. - George Burns Give me a staff of honor for mine age, but not a sceptre to control the world. - William Shakespeare Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. - Robert Benchley I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age; I’m very pleased to be anywhere. - George Burns Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did. - Malcolm S. Forbes The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money. - Author Unknown I have retired, un retired, and retired again all in the past 10 years. I find the biggest trouble with having NOTHING to do is... you can't tell when you are done. - Author Unknown In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. - Mason Cooley When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house you know you are retired. - Author Unknown There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. - Robert Half The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. - George Foreman Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still had pimples. - George Burns When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference. - Virginia Graham The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. - Abe Lemons Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. - Gene Perret There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - Bill Watterson Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. - Jim Bishop If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. - Branch Rickey Before deciding to retire early... stay home a week and practice watching daytime television. - Author Unknown The money is no better in retirement... but the hours are! - Author Unknown Retirement must be wonderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long. - Burt Reynolds The secret of longevity is to keep breathing. - Sophie Tucker He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. - Douglas Adams If you want more funny retirement quotes, please see next pages. Help yourself~ Return from Funny Retirement Quotes to Retirement Wishes Return from Funny Retirement Quotes to Roth IRA Guidelines
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